A Parent’s Guide to evidence based strategies every parent can teach at home

When your child is struggling emotionally, it’s natural to want to fix the problem as quickly as possible. But one of the most powerful things you can do as a parent is not to remove discomfort, it’s to help your child learn how to cope with it.

Coping skills are the foundation of lifelong mental health. They help children regulate emotions, manage stress, and navigate challenges with confidence. The goal is not to eliminate hard feelings, but to give your child tools to move through them safely and effectively.

Below are evidence-based coping strategies drawn from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) that you can begin teaching and modeling at home.

1. Help Your Child Name What They’re Feeling

Children often act out what they don’t yet have the language to express. Teaching emotional awareness is the first step toward emotional regulation.

Try saying:

• “I notice you seem frustrated. Is that how you’re feeling?”
• “That looks really disappointing. Want to talk about it?”

This builds emotional vocabulary and helps your child feel seen and understood.

Why it works:

Naming emotions reduces their intensity and helps the brain shift from reactive to reflective thinking.

2. Teach the “Pause” Before Reacting

Strong emotions can lead to impulsive reactions. Teaching your child to pause creates space for better choices.

Simple ways to practice:

• Take 3–5 slow breaths together
• Count backward from 10
• Step away from the situation briefly

You can model this by saying:

“I’m feeling overwhelmed, so I’m going to take a few breaths before I respond.”

Why it works:

This builds distress tolerance which is the ability to handle intense emotions without making things worse.

3. Use Grounding Techniques for Anxiety

When kids feel anxious or overwhelmed, their thoughts can spiral. Grounding techniques bring attention back to the present moment.

Try the “5-4-3-2-1” method:

• 5 things you can see
• 4 things you can feel
• 3 things you can hear
• 2 things you can smell
• 1 thing you can taste

Younger children may benefit from simplified versions, like naming colors or objects in the room.

Why it works:

Grounding reduces emotional flooding and calms the nervous system.

4. Challenge Unhelpful Thoughts

Children and teens often fall into thinking traps like:

• “I always mess up”
• “Nobody likes me”
• “This will never get better”

Gently help them question these thoughts by saying things like:

• “What’s the evidence for that?”
• “Is there another way to look at this?”
• “What would you say to a friend who felt this way?”

Why it works:

Thoughts influence feelings and behavior. Learning to reframe them builds resilience and confidence.

5. Build a “Coping Toolbox”

Work with your child to create a personalized list of strategies they can use when they’re upset.

Some ideas are:

• Listening to music
• Drawing, coloring, or creating art of any kind
• Journaling (guided journals can work well for younger kids)
• Going for a walk or other exercise
• Talking to a trusted adult
• Using a stress ball, modeling clay, or fidget toy
• Cooking or baking a favorite recipe
• Playing or sitting with a favorite pet

Anything that engages or calms your child’s mind can work as a coping tool. Keep the list visible or create a small box with calming items.

Why it works:

Having options prepared ahead of time makes it easier to use skills in the moment.

6. Teach Healthy Ways to Release Emotions

Emotions need an outlet. Without one, they often come out as anger, withdrawal, or anxiety.

Encourage safe expression:

• Physical movement (jumping, running, stretching)
• Creative outlets (art, writing, music)
• Talking things through

You might say:

“It’s okay to feel angry. Let’s find a way to let it out safely.”

Why it works:

Expressing emotions in a safe way supports emotional regulation without suppressing or escalating feelings.

7. Practice Self-Soothing Skills

Self-soothing helps children calm themselves using their senses.

Ideas to try:

Younger children may need help discovering what feels calming to them.

Why it works:

Engaging the senses can quickly reduce emotional intensity.

8. Normalize Asking for Help

One of the most important coping skills is knowing when you need support.

Reinforce messages like:

• “You don’t have to handle everything alone.”
• “It’s strong to ask for help.”

9. Model Coping Skills Yourself

Children learn far more from what we do than what we say. Let your child see you using coping strategies in real time.

Examples:

• “I had a stressful day, so I’m going for a walk to clear my head.”
• “I’m feeling frustrated, so I’m going to take a break before we keep talking.”

This shows that coping is a normal and necessary part of life.

10. Practice Skills When Things Are Calm

Coping skills are most effective when they’re practiced before they’re needed.

Incorporate them into daily life:

• Practice breathing exercises at bedtime
• Talk through emotions during calm moments
• Role-play how to handle difficult situations

This builds confidence and makes it easier to access skills during stress.

Final Thoughts for Parents

Supporting your child’s mental health is not about having all the answers. It’s about equipping them with tools, staying connected, and creating a safe space where emotions can be expressed without fear.

Progress may be slow, and that’s okay. What matters most is consistency, patience, and the message that your child is not alone in what they’re feeling.

Find out more about Mental Health Basics for Parents: What Every Parent Should Know

Read our guide for parents on How to Talk to Your Child About Mental Health

Learn more about how we provide support to parents

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This article is shared for informational purposes only. It is not meant to be used in place of medical advice.

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