A Parent’s Guide to what to expect at the ER
If you are considering taking your child to the emergency room, you are likely scared, exhausted, and unsure of what will happen next. Unfortunately, these feelings of uncertainty can sometimes cause parents to avoid getting help for their child.
Let me say this clearly: Going to the emergency room is not a parenting failure. It is an act of protection. It can make the difference for your child’s safety and their future.
This guide will walk you through what to expect at the emergency room during a mental health crisis examination so you can feel more prepared and able to focus on what your child needs from you in these difficult moments.
If your child is struggling with their mental health and you cannot guarantee they are safe, do not hesitate – stop reading and just go. You can come back to this article once they are safe.
When Should You Go to the ER?
Go to the emergency room if:
- Your child has attempted suicide or self-harm.
- They are talking about hurting or killing themselves and have a plan.
- They cannot commit to staying safe.
- They are threatening harm to others.
- They are severely disoriented, hallucinating, or detached from reality.
- You cannot confidently say they are safe.
If there is immediate danger, call 911 (or your local emergency number).
In the U.S., you can also call or text 988 for free crisis support 24/7.
If you are unsure whether it’s serious enough, go anyway. It is always better to err on the side of safety.
Before You Leave (If You Have a Few Minutes)
If possible, consider bringing with you:
- Insurance card and ID
- A list of medications and doses
- Therapist or psychiatrist contact information
- Phone charger
- A comfort item for your child (hoodie, blanket, headphones)
If gathering these things delays you, skip them. Just go.
What Happens When You Arrive
Check-In & Triage
Tell the person at the front desk your child is in a mental health crisis.
They may immediately ask direct questions like:
- “Is your child suicidal?”
- “Do they have a plan?”
- “Have they attempted?”
It may feel blunt. They’re simply assessing safety, not judging you. Be honest and speak openly.
Your child will go through triage just like any ER patient.
Safety Precautions
Because this is a psychiatric crisis, there are additional safety measures.
Your child may be:
- Asked to change into hospital clothing
- Asked to remove personal belongings
- Placed in a room with minimal furniture
- Your personal belongings may be placed in a locker or other safe area.
This can feel upsetting. It may feel cold or clinical but these measures are simply to ensure your child doesn’t have access to anything harmful.
The Waiting Period
This is often the hardest part. Mental health evaluations take time. You may have to wait for hours while they assign and locate the appropriate mental health professional for the evaluation.
During this time your child might shut down, get angry, cry, say they don’t need to be there, or withdraw completely.
This is expected given the circumstances. Try to stay steady. You don’t need to have the perfect words. You can simply say:
“I love you. I’m here. We’re going to get through this.”
Try using distractions to keep you and your child calm. You can watch funny videos together on your phone, play a game, or just tell each other silly stories. This is not a time to let your mind dwell on what-if scenarios.
If you feel overwhelmed, step away and take a few slow breaths. Drink water. Text someone you trust. This is traumatic for parents too. It is imperative that your child sees you are strong in these moments so they can feel safe. Do what you need to do to support them.
The Mental Health Evaluation
A social worker, psychologist, or psychiatrist will evaluate your child in person.
They will ask direct questions such as:
- “Are you thinking about killing yourself?”
- “Do you have a plan?”
- “Have you tried before?”
- “Do you feel safe going home?”
They will likely speak to your child alone. This is standard practice and a very important piece of the evaluation. Take a deep breath and step away.
They will also ask you for your observations and concerns. Be honest, even if you are afraid it might lead to hospitalization. This evaluation is about determining safety and the doctors can’t make the right decisions without all the information. No matter how hard it is for you say the words, you must be honest.
Possible Outcomes
There are typically three paths forward.
Discharge Home With a Safety Plan
If the evaluator believes your child can remain safe at home with supervision, you may be discharged.
You may leave with:
- A written safety plan
- Referrals to therapy or psychiatry
- Recommendations for follow-up care
This does not mean the crisis wasn’t serious. It means they believe safety can be managed outside the hospital. You still have work to do when you get home.
To learn more about safety plans read our guide on How to Create a Family Safety Plan
You can download a general Safety Plan template here.
Voluntary Admission
Your child may agree to inpatient hospitalization for short-term stabilization.
This allows for:
- 24-hour supervision
- Medication adjustments (if needed)
- Structured therapeutic support
- Time to plan for treatment options post-hospitalization
Involuntary Admission
If the evaluation team believes your child is high risk and not safe to go home, they may recommend admission even if your child objects.
This can feel frightening and overwhelming. Remember: this is about protection, not punishment. Your child’s safety is the goal.
What to expect if hospitalization is recommended
In patient psychiatric care is focused on stabilization. It is intended to be short term, structured, supervised, and safety focused. Doctors will continue to evaluate your child and monitor them closely.
In our own experience, my daughter was nervous but grateful to finally feel safe. Without this step in her treatment she would not have had the success she has achieved. I share this as reassurance that the pain you may feel in these moments is normal and real, but the outcome is worth it.
Stays for both voluntary and involuntary admission are often three days to about a week, depending on the situation. The goal is to reduce immediate risk and create a safer next step. The doctors will speak to you about their assessment and recommendations for treatment. Once there is agreement and plans in place your child will be discharged.
Some children will be at peace with the inpatient experience, but some may be angry. Again, this is normal. Your child may say things like “I hate you” or “I didn’t need to be here”
Crisis distorts thinking. Stay strong. You are choosing their safety over their temporary approval. This is what parents are called to do.
Before You Leave the ER or Hospital
When your child is discharged, make sure you are clear on the following questions:
- What warning signs should I watch for?
- What level of supervision is recommended?
- How quickly should follow-up care happen?
- Who do I call if things escalate again?
- Is there a written safety plan? (Read our guide How to Create a Family Safety Plan for more)
This is the beginning of a process, not the end of one.
Read our guide on The First 30 Days After a Mental Health Crisis to learn more about how you can support your child’s recovery.
See our guide on how to conduct a Home Safety Audit to learn more about keeping your child safe at home.
A Reminder for Parents
This is a difficult moment but it does not define your child. It does not define you. It certainly does not determine the rest of your child’s life. Recovery is possible, and you have just taken the first step towards that possibility.
If you need a little reassurance I invite you to read Our Story.
You are not alone. See all the ways we provide Support for Parents along this path.
A support and information for parents can lead to a better outcome for their child. Consider joining one of our virtual Parent Support Circles where you’ll find community and support while you navigate this difficult time.
You are doing something incredibly brave.
Need Next Steps?
Be prepared. Learn how to recognize the warning signs by reading our guide: Is My Child in a Mental Health Crisis?
Learn How to Talk to Your Child About Suicide: A Parent’s Guide
Get tips for How to Find the Right Therapist for Your Child
Read our guide on Treatment Options for Teens and Children
You are not alone. We invite you to learn about how we provide Parent Support.
This article is shared for information purposes only and is not meant to take the place of medical advice.
If this article helped you, consider supporting Brighter Path Family Network. As a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization, your donation is tax deductible and allows us to continue helping families facing a mental health crisis.
Brighter Path Family Network
Supporting parents. Strengthening Families. Restoring hope.